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| Writing Tutor - The Basics: |
Welcome to the Writing Tutor. What is
"The Writing Tutor"? Just a few easy steps in one easy lesson on how to compose
a message with feelings from the heart, and sending that message to someone
special.
Where do we start? HERE! Get a pen and some paper, or
anything to write with - a typewriter, word processor, or computer works just
fine, of course. Ready? Here we go.
STEP 1: Think about the one
to whom you are writing. Find some adjectives that describe the attributes
and characteristics of this person, and why you like, love, and appreciate
them, such as, they are: beautiful, kind, caring, loving, gentle, talkative,
interesting, vivacious, wild, crazy, genuine, artistic, colorful, fun,
etc.
Write the words "You are..." at the top of a piece of paper, and
after them write down all the adjectives that you think apply.
STEP
2: Think about how you feel about this person. Find more descriptive terms
that apply to how you feel, or how the person makes you feel, or what you feel
when you think about him or her, such as loved, calm, excited, enraptured,
mesmerized, warm, elated, wishful, hopeful, etc. (Skip a line or space on your
paper, and write the next words on it, "I feel," or "You make me feel",
and follow it with all the terms or phrases that apply.)
STEP 3: Ask
yourself, "What is my hope for the future?" What do you want from this
relationship? Is it too early to tell? Maybe you only want to have the
opportunity to discover more. Are you thinking of proposing marriage? Do you
just want to sit at the coffee shop again and continue to chat? Maybe you
aren't sure of what you want, but you do know that you do NOT want to stop!
After a lead in of, "I want," or "I would like," or I wish," and
complete the sentence using these thoughts.
NOW, BEFORE YOU WRITE THE NOTE:
It's not enough to think you know what you want. There are two things to
consider at this time. One is that at some point the goal is to express what
you think and feel. That may be now, in this writing, or it may not be. The
second thing is that the other person may not be ready to hear what you have to
say. So you might want to temper what you write in your message so that you
don't scare this person away. If this is an established loved one, your
girlfriend or spouse, this may not be an issue. But if your subjetc is someone
new in your life, or someone for whom these feelings have developed more
recently, common sense, good discretion, and patience are good virtues to have,
just in case you haven't already incorporated them. If the feelings live on,
there will be time to get more expressive and more intimate. What we are
looking for is a response from the other person that is positive, such as a
kind, ensuring smile. Part of the problem here is that there very well may be a
smile, but you probably won't get to see it at the moment that the message is
received. There is also a possibility that you will be ignored. However, let's
be positive, and imagine that some kind of response will come, and that there
may be a bit of a wait before you get that response. Your waiting may include
an uncomfortable or even painful passing of time until the recipient calls you,
emails you, or sends a letter... or shows up in person to give you the hug and
kiss that you long for. Be patient!
STEP 4: Read over your notes, then Write Your
Message: For the time being, don't worry about structure, punctuation,
spelling, and those types of things. What we are conquering is the actual
sending of messages. If you worry about perfection you will never send the
message. The essence of this exercize is to get over the fear that keeps us
from sending. This fear may be that you don't think you can write in a romantic
fashion. It may be that your vocabulary is limited, and that embarrasses you.
It may be that the other person is a much better writer than you. GET OVER
IT! Don't think of me as being harsh with this attitude. We are simply
doing an exercize in overcoming fears. I have fears too. But if I allowed
myself to shy away trying to avoid those fears, I would never achieve writing
most of the pages in this site!
Still on STEP 4: The message can
be as simple as,
Dear _______, (or
leave the "Dear" out...)
I have been thinking about you today. You are
so interesting to talk to. When we talk I get excited about life. Let's have
coffee again soon!
See you later!
_______
Now, wasn't that simple? After you get to know this
person better, you might say...
What an amazing visit that was!
Spending time with
you is wonderful! After our conversation I felt so elated! You definitely have
some special effect on me.
Can't wait to see you. Let's find ourselves
together again soon.
Yours, _______
Then if you are really gone head over
heels...
Please forgive me, for I
cannot write this without explaining how I really feel.
Is it so
difficult to understand why you have my attention as you do? When I breathe I
inhale you... when I see it is through your eyes... when I move it is your
world that I experience... One would think I am dramatizing for the sake of
trying to impress you, but I fail to achieve the actual degree of surprise that
I feel inside. However, if I must fail, it will not be from lack of trying.
Failure is acceptable if you will simply listen to my every attempt. Someday,
although I cannot well explain it, you will understand what it is I am trying
to say. Perhaps then it will take on the meaning of what I have been
endeavoring to express for so long.
With deep admiration,
_______
Too many words? How
about...
_______,
Please call me soon. Any
length of time waiting is much too long.
Desperately yours,
_______ |
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STEP 5 SEND IT!!!!!!!!
Letters,
emails, messages in bottles - anything will do in a pinch. Notes slipped under
doors, paper airplanes with clues on the wings, telegrams... Just send it! A
well-written message is always a good thing, since if the other person is
receptive, it will have a more positive effect than a porly written note. But
even a POORLY WRITTEN NOTE will hit home if sent with the right attitude, and a
touch of honestly and humbleness. Other's will tell you differently, but this
exercise is not for those trying to sweep a person off of his or her feet with
perfectly written prose that is not sent from the heart. That is a different
sort of accomplishment than the one I am trrying to help you achieve. This
exercise is for those who want to learn to express what they are having trouble
expressing. Start expressing, and get better as you go. But don't wait to send
the message of love. It doesn't have to even have the word "love" in it, but it
does need to have the spirit of love in it. If it does not, no amount of
exercise training or personal coaching will help you, and the recipient of the
note will discover at some point that you are not sincere, and not worth
knowing. So let's try to be that other caring, considerate person, shall we?
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